Taking a break in a relationship and dating other people
If you feel like you missed the class that taught everything you needed to know about dating and you just can’t make these things called relationships work, you may be stuck in some unhealthy romantic patterns.These default strategies can often kick in without us even knowing it — from the moment those first crushy feelings arise and take hold until the relationship inevitably crashes and burns and sometimes beyond, making it difficult to get over a guy and move on with your dating life.It’s possible that two fragile people who come together in a relationship and accept and love each other actually heal each other’s wounds.But if the guy doesn’t stick around, what happens is that the scab gets ripped off, salt gets rubbed in, and you’re left in excruciating pain, trying to bandage up your gaping wound.At work, you bump into cabinets and space out during meetings because you’re so intoxicated by fantasies of this guy. Your attention span is shot and you can only keep your mind off him long enough to read a Tweet. How To Break It: Make a rule for yourself: No Fantasy.This is hard because we have no control over where our minds roam.Also, guys who come on really strong at the beginning tend to be the ones who shortly thereafter, disappear altogether.
You need to slow down and really get to know this person. The Pattern: When he tells you right off the bat about the medication he’s taking, you’re thrilled. He understands when you need Me Time, and lets you cry on his shoulder when life just feels too hard.Or, on your first date, you already feel like you’ve known him forever. How To Break It: The problem with this pattern is that while emotional intensity and physical attraction are electrifying, they’re not love and definitely don’t mean that this person is your one and only soul mate.You’re so comfortable, and giddy that at last you’ve found a guy who you can really be yourself with. All this excitement and attraction can blind you from seeing red flags that could be popping up all over the place.How To Break It: There is something comforting about dating a sensitive guy, especially if you’re a sensitive gal.But revealing such deeply personal information so early on before establishing a foundation of trust puts you at risk for being deeply hurt.